Psychologists dating patients

, character Gabrielle Solis (she's the beautiful ex-model with the gorgeous rich husband, big house, and bottomless bank account) sets the tone for the series with this simple but poignant statement about her marriage: "I have everything I wanted -- but I wanted all the wrong things." More than just a catchy phrase, you don't have to be an unhappy (or desperate) housewife to get what she means.Indeed, when it comes to choosing a life partner, experts say too many of us remain clueless about what we really want and need -- one reason so few of us seem to find it!Darnay says many such problems could be avoided, if we viewed new relationships like they were a new car -- starting with the "test drive" known as "dating." "At the early stages of any relationship you should be dating -- and that's dating, not sleeping with -- at least three or four different potential partners," says Darnay.

Each of us has our own way in which these needs must be met in order to feel happy and secure" says Sugrue , an associate clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of Michigan Medical School and co-author of .

While core values may form the foundation of who we are, our emotional needs often define the finer points of our relationships.

Psychologist Dennis Sugrue says we must acknowledge those emotional needs before we can find someone who can fill them.

They are the tenets you grew up believing and that deep down inside still seem to fit into your life no matter what else changes," says Jo Anne White, Ph D, a therapist and instructor at Temple University.

Indeed, White tells Web MD that no matter how many qualities you put on your list of "must haves," nothing matters quite so much as finding someone who shares your core values.

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