You want marriage, you want kids, you’re ready for love. Dozens of women parade across your screen, each younger, smarter, more attractive, more tantalizing than the last.Suddenly, you’re corresponding with 12 people online, have five phone numbers, and three dates scheduled in a weekend.This is not the GOAL, but an almost uncontrollable byproduct of the choice and volume inherent in online dating.And this is what gets lost on all the people who say that every man’s a player who’s just out to get laid.Why would I write to the 38 year old when I can write to the 28 year old?
A boyfriend should respect every aspect of you, including your stuff.
However, if you were watching my profile on JDate, you’d have assumed that I was online from 1998-2006 without any success. Sometimes, when you leave, you don’t take your profile down—which leads you to be labeled an online dating addict by a woman who is on every single site herself. But you ARE onto something, Barb, which is that online dating CAN be addicting.
In fact, in my dating heyday, I didn’t just try JDate. Just like alcohol can be used recreationally or abusively, so can
I tried Match, Chemistry, e Harmony, Nerve, American Singles, Matchmaker… What’s similar is that the users always think that they’ve got it under control, and that nobody’s getting hurt in the process. There’s a delusional aspect to successful online dating—one that I’ve embodied—one that I’ve seen in my clients as well.
You sign up on e Harmony because you’re serious about a relationship.