The American way is loud and even arrogant at times. Call it the revolving door or hedging – there’s the idea in the American approach to dating that there’s always something better around the corner.With European men, if there’s mutual interest, they keep seeing that person and don’t keep hunting for better options simultaneously. Nor will they freak out when discussions of commitment or future come up.Then these boys grow up and are exposed to the opposite sex in an abrupt, often sexualized way. This is definitely seen in how they treat not only women, but everyone around them.The consequence of this is a lack of understanding of women, a lack of comfort and often, a lack of respect. There is a courtesy, consideration, chivalry and thoughtfulness in how they act, behave and engage with others.I’m not to judge that one is better than the other, and mind you, my observations are based on my own experiences as well as a group of women I’ve interviewed in the last two years.
American culture raises children to be fiercely independent and to look out for ‘number one’.In America, sexual education is not taught until one hits their teens, if they are taught at all. It’s no surprise that American men are left to their own devices, subconsciously learning about sex through porn and the media. The latest law passed in France where excessively skinny models need to prove their health is a testament to that.But when you’re surrounded by American media, filled with Barbie dolls, waif skinny models and Baywatch breasts, the idea of what ‘beauty’ is becomes skewed. European men have a quiet confidence, a demeanor that doesn’t need to scream out loud to prove themselves. The dating culture involves trying out many different options at the same time.So does this mean the only hope for a happy, committed relationship is to move to another country? As mentioned above, the observations summarized above are not really about where one is born, but rather a mentality that is influenced by societal and cultural values.We must be aware of our own behavior in the dating game, because we are active participants in how we are treated.