And how do you interact with a nation of shy people who always seem to have their head down and nose buried in a book/iphone game?
Fear not, scratch your head in bewilderment no longer – as myself, Grace (famous for her “My Japanese Husband Thinks I’m Crazy” story) and Martin of Asian Dating Monthly have put our heads together and distilled our combined two decades of Japanese dating experience to bring you these top tips, which will help you navigate the seas of romance in Japan.
Of course you often won’t know the answer, but always be prepared for the “dotakyan” or last minute cancellation, especially on first dates. Grace Says: If you’re a woman, you might have to suggest the first date.
Martin says: There’s a trick question I often tell my (dating) clients: Q: When do you know if a Japanese girl will go on a date with you? Men assume foreign women are more outgoing and direct (which sucks when you aren’t).
You can usually find the events by doing a Google search for Tokyo international parties, with events like this popping up regularly, but it probably won’t be long before you get invited to one via Facebook.
Cheapos will be pleased to hear that many of them include a buffet which is almost worth the (typically around 2000yen) entry fee.
You never know how big the language barrier is, and where exactly the gaps in vocabulary and grammar are, so let your gestures and facial expressions do as much of the work for you as possible.
Or read peoples’ emotions where pretty much no-one wears their heart on their sleeve?
At the same time, like folks in most other developed countries, Japanese people have been inundated with media from America and are avid travelers.
They are equally interested in Europe, and other parts of Asia like Taiwan, Thailand and Korea.
As a guy looking to meet Japanese girls who are looking to meet foreign guys though, your best bets are what are called “International Parties” and “Language Exchanges”.“International Parties” are parties organized specifically to bring foreigners and Japanese folk together and give everyone the opportunity to meet and interact in a safer environment than clubs or bars provide, and are much more relaxed events that are usually held on Friday or Saturday evenings, with some events earlier in the afternoon.
Many of the organizers also run other kinds of seasonal events as well.