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Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common. It would depend on how the questions were asked and how our discussion of them went--if they ask in a genuinely interested, open-to-listening way, I'd feel closer, but I'd feel closer if they asked any questions in that way. At long last the secret of ratcheting up intimacy is revealed! Perhaps my brain is starved of oxygen or else the feeling of hypoxia is a testament to the efficiency of this method. You don't really believe your interlocutor is going to stop after 36, do you? I really don't feel that this list of questions would necessarily make me feel good about the other person or feel closer to them.I was impressed with the candidate’s self-knowledge and candor and by the fact that he explained his introversion in terms of his joy in working with spreadsheets (a crucial part of the position he was interviewing for) and his commitment to moving from introversion to collegiality. Interviewing, like speed dating, is never a guarantee of finding the right fit, but focused questions can get both the candidate and us closer to understanding what we need to know.

Someone who asks in a way I feel is invasive, demanding or not-listening still would not make me feel closer--again, whether it's this list of questions or any other.

Each of you should take a turn answering each question. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest? We've been together 26 years and I welcome (and even need) to have the chance to connect with her on new levels.

:( Dear Psychology Today: Thank you for this Facebook link, probably aimed at women between the age of 30-45, but I think we both know how completely irritated my husband (or any man) would be if I asked him any single one of these questions.

Recently, a candidate for a senior financial position at my university courageously told me that he is an introvert, not always immediately comfortable with people he doesn’t know but always ready to develop greater ease as he works with colleagues.

That led to a discussion of Susan Cain’s book and TED talk, .

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