I am a very non-addictive person - never smoked and rarely drink and do not have any kind of struggles like that so I guess I didn't really know what I was getting myself into.
Soon into him moving in, we starting fighting a lot and my temper flared and suddenly he is blaming me for problems I didn't even know or think that I had and now he has walked out of my life because he says I am too unstable and need help and he doesn't want to be around me and I just don't know what to do.
I love him and I miss him and he won't even talk to me now.
I know that only alcoholics can help another alcoholic to understand but I am just at a loss and do not know what to do or what to feel. I am 25 and a single mom and I have a great job and bought my own house and prior to meeting my A my life was great and now I feel like i am in absolute pieces and I just am looking for guidance.
Be grateful for what u have today & leave tomorrow in the unknow future (where it belongs) - hey we're all scared about it but if we focus on the future, we lose any hope of empowering us for today/present moment. Hi FIRST I am quoting debilyn here b/c this is the gospel truth....
SHE SAYS, basically if she knew then what she knows NOW she would nver have married her A....whole post screams of the truth.
I am a very non-addictive person - never smoked and rarely drink and do not have any kind of struggles like that so I guess I didn't really know what I was getting myself he is brand new in recovery----RED FLAG.....people say that unless they have been in intensive recovery to get over the drinking AND the "ism" personality traits, they gotta be in recovery for , my sponsor said, 2years at least....anything other than that??? Soon into him moving in, we starting fighting a lot and my temper flared and suddenly he is blaming me for problems I didn't even know or think that I had and now he has walked out of my life because he says I am too unstable and need help and he doesn't want to be around me and I just don't know what to moved in???They actually recommend that As not start any new intimate relationships for at least a year of not just "not drinking" sobriety, but honest "working the program" sobriety. We need to put them down, focus on us & get honest & real. You are all u can change or control anyway, we sure cant control another person & being caught in the manipulation makes us sick.In the meantime, anybody who is concerned about or affected by someone else's drinking is automatically a candidate for Alanon - welcome. I hope so much you will continue to come here to help yourself through this. Every single A that I have known has said their spouse, girlfriend,boyfriend, mother, daughter and on and on, are crazy, have mental problems and more. It is vital to learn about the disease so u can stop enabling, recognize the disease for what it is & not take it personally.TAKE the blessing and come hre...through the lesson you have learned and work through the grief and disappoint ment and thank your lucky stars he has not hurt your kid(s) and busted up your home and messed you up so you cannot work your job.......i know it hurts to be left...hurts to make a bad mistake,but thank heavens you didn't get so hurt it cannot be fixed...thank heavens he did not beat your child or worse....thank heavens he did not ruin your credit, or mess up YOUR home.....hurts, but I promise you if you hang with us...your program, and post and FEEL your feelings and just hang out here, you WILL get better and when you read the other awful and painful stories of gals NOT so lucky, you will thank your God that he/she spared you of this MISERY with a capital "M".....young..whole life ahead of you....I pray you don't let it get destroyed at such a young age... Cry my tears, experience the grief and learn the lesson it offered that you deserve better and that there are screwed up people out there..post shows me you are a loving, caring person...young...is a hard lesson, but be thankful he did not do worse.....please take what you can use from this and dump the rest.....