And then, that guy brought his friends along, and I realized that ... For example, I learned that I wanted to put the date back in dating, and that I abhorred the phrase, "Want to hang out?" It was too casual, and I always ended up disappointed.Maybe you'll go on fewer dates, but the dates you do go on will probably fare better than they would had you not paid attention to specifics.I started doing this in the tail end of my dating saga, and it turned out to be a smart move.That's not to say that guys shouldn't message girls.(On behalf of myself in 2011, please do, but don't be gross.) Wi-Fi-chivalry is not dead.
And they especially wouldn't like someone who used a lot of words.(Both of which I did not admit in 2012 — neither date ended well for me, especially when catch turned into 'fetch' given my lack of hand-eye coordination.) The more dates I went on, the more I was able to realize what I found to be acceptable — and what I found to be unacceptable.There was a time early in my dating journey when I thought that a pulse and the ability to understand my theater references marked the zeniths of romance. But the only way that I was able to develop standards was by going on lots of dates.A few years ago, I was bemoaning my love life, as many early 20-somethings do when they graduate college. I let my friend construct the basics of my profile for me, and then I underwent the existential crisis of building my profile. And was I going to resort to platitudes about my typical day ("there really is no typical day for me! You can't bemoan your nonexistent romantic life if you aren't trying.I was sitting at a diner with one of my closest friends, and she presented me with a solution: set up an Ok Cupid account. There were times when I would get frustrated and would delete my account completely.