Portland people get blackout drunk and in the morning they're like, "Do you want to get brunch and day-drink?" Portland hetero gender norms are also woefully conventional. In Portland for 10 years, only single for a few months, but has dated extensively as a polyamorous married person.Unless something drastically changes by press time, I've been single for the entirety of my 26-year existence. I've never declared my relationship status on Facebook.I've never said "I love you" to a partner and meant it.Both of these people want to get brunch and day-drink on a Sunday. A lot of folks don't seem to know what they want—which is understandable, but when you mix that with the stereotype of Portlanders being flakes or passive aggressive in their communication...it's a combo that tends to lead to some confusion, annoyance, or heartache. I've noticed that a lot of folks don't really say what they want, or even know what they want beyond "being open to different sorts of connections." Jo Ann Schinderle, 29 Straight female Portland resident since 2012, last boyfriend circa 2006.When a girl walks into a bar, every man notices her, but then they all look around to see the other men who also notice her.If one of those dudes walks up to hit on her, every other guy in the bar chuckles to their friends and says, "Ha! She's not going to say yes." THIS IS SO INSANE TO ME.
In an attempt to find out, I surveyed a wide variety of Portland friends, coworkers, comedians, and storytellers.These people represent a slice of the diverse sexualities and relationship statuses of our city.For all their differences, what they have in common is a sharp perspective on the assets and liabilities of dating in Portland.What I did learn from these generous interviewees is that I'm not alone in wading through the awkward Portland dating pool.Each of their stories reminded me that when dating, it's best to be honest (with yourself and your potential partner), authentic, and remember that even if a date goes horribly wrong, you still walk away with a good story. Once got asked to go back to his place, smoke pot, and do "adult shit" on a date.