And he is not the only guy I’ve encountered like this.
Another date, who didn’t feel chemistry with me but we became friends, I’ve watched him fall for all the women who don’t want to give him the time of day.
A number of gentlemen I’ve met shouldn’t have been dating at all because they are still grieving.
And the most surprising phenomenon that I’ve witnessed in this pool of men is that being a pretty, happy, vivacious “cool chick” is a big negative strike against me.
We don’t keep track of how many times our partner kept his/her mouth shut for the sake of harmony. If you think it’s because men like drama, I’ll have to respectfully disagree. Once a man reaches a certain age, he prefers easy relationships.
When we’re younger, we may tolerate craziness, just because we’re lonely or desperate for sex.
But as we mature and value ourselves, we tend to court what makes sense for us in the long term.
I’m not suggesting that the drama queens make sense to your ex’s, per se. I was on a plane two days ago and found myself seated next to an attractive and wealthy 59-year-old man. Keep in mind if you’re reading this that a younger woman doesn’t have to be a sycophant or a brainless chimp (although some insecure men are just fine with that).
Have you always wanted to be tied up like The Dukes of Hazzard, or Supernatural's Winchester brothers?
Studies have shown that people in couples overestimate what they bring to relationships – their generosity, their emotional availability – because they are exclusively inside their own heads.
We remember our good deeds more than others’ good deeds. So am I saying that you, Joan, are anxious and negative? What I am saying is that you’re only seeing things from your own perspective. If you’ve gone out with a handful of guys who ended up with drama queens, that brings up a very obvious question: why would any man prefer a drama queen over you?
Just don’t make the mistake in assuming that there are no emotionally available men, that men prefer drama, or that men don’t want “cool” women.
Because that type of false thinking doesn’t lead to anything positive.